March 2011
9 posts
Girl... it's over....
It took a long time to shake the feeling of nothingness.. Blaring, loud silence of pure nothing-to-say-ness.. So over when it’s done.. I didn’t miss her.. This past year spent without the weight in my heart.. carrying around someone who didn’t love me as much as I loved them.. She left my presence with everything she came with.. Not a thing to remind me of how I used to feel.. no pieces to hold onto.. bittersweet. Even the “she” that she was when she was with me is behind her.. She’s someone new with someone new. This girl in front of me? I probably don’t kno her. I should walk past this stranger… There’s no danger in it, not looking back. This is what it’s like when its truly over. I almost with there was something to look back on fondly… instead its like three years of my life disappeared from the earth— they never happened to me.
Deeply Mental (a quick free write)
I’m moving against her thoughts.. lustfully. She’s trusting me to know what she’s thinking. Every single time.. Eyes I can read.. Hunger some where between the rawness in the wild.. the quiet roar of a waterfall, and the stillness of night on the edge of dawn. I could lose myself in the mood so willingly. Eagerly. Like a daydream… Floating along. In her mind, intertwined deeply, is where I belong. To be by her side physically is too limiting for me. This is the closest thing to an ability to teleport. Its not enough to resort to sending explicit pictures of provocative body parts with sensual, suggestive captions… I need the ability to lick the mental part of you that only I can reach..
free writing just a little something…
Play
95% of people on my Tumblr won't read this, but as we speak, Libyan people are being massacred, because they're rebelling against an unfair government. The elderly, women, children, everyone in Libya is in danger tonight. It's genocide. Reblog this to raise awareness and support the revolution.
"Don't NO bitch..." a satirical hood piece
That’s my boo..
Love so true and flawed..
Can’t even remember why
We’re apart but..
That’s my heart..
Understands my shit.
Puts up with my shit..
We’ve been through some shit…
And I trust her…. shit.
Won’t put that kind of
Faith and trust in another..
Can’t fathom their being another person
For me to love like this…
So I’m
Getting into the dating game
Liking but with no emotional gain..
Introducing myself with one foot
Already out the door..
Down the hall…
And in my old love’s place…
We are going in circles of lies…
Still together, forever apart..
Not letting go of her…
Meanwhile,
Always holding back..
Though I get angry when the
Realization hits..
We are all doing this to each other..
No clean slates for Love so..
I’m doing this to the new one…
My old one is doing it to her current “bun”…
Her current one is still dealing with
Her first one…
My new one is holding onto her
Last one..
And we are all
Inevitably
Fucking each other…
Creating thin layers of trust
With thick sheets of technicalities…
Not believing a word spoken..
Trying to build sandcastles in the wind
While we get angry because
We can’t even get a good foundation.
Been looking for love in replacements…
Need to refresh this heart.
Better get a running start.
(from 2/02/09 via downelink)
My Blues for Women....
i ache in places i
didn’t know i could…
i…
stumble on words so simple..
i’m unsure..
too unstable..
confusion strikes my armor..
i fall a hard fall that i
never thought i would…
you don’t love me..
did you ever?
i must have been some
kind of misinterpreted
entertainment..
i’m balloons and streamers..
make you smile..
while they bruise my
demeanor.
i’m not scared of love
nor scared of lonely…
just of you and me…
because, i mean….
how long will it be before
you successfully kill me…?
*i adore women… can’t say the love is mutual anymore. the proof stands in front of me… how much more would you like me to endure?*
(from 3/01/09 via downelink)
Take us back to the start....
Oh how sad to see
You’re looking back..
You look
Like me…
We’ve been the same
Life is gone, but—
Our hearts remain..
Oh, how I love that
My tears reach through
To the other side of light..
Your hands reach me
Memories holding me tight..
Transfer
Your strength
Deeply into
My veins.
Oh
If there is such a
Thing
As a beautiful mind..
It was yours.
Confusion and aching
Birthing creative greatness
Few comprehend.
And I…?
I love you…
I saw you…
I am you.
But I didn’t know
Until you were gone.
Philove & iNeRGi.
Aunt… Neice..
One Piece.
Today… I’m just so sad to be alone. Always so sad to be without her. Sometimes her crazy antics made me doubt her, but we are so alike—- so in sync. Were… Could have been. She was gone before I really came into adulthood and all of these other things were brought to the surface. Her presence could have been the difference between me standing strong and me falling apart. And still…. to find another piece that links us just… hurts. It just hurts so deep. Deeper than I can even try to put into words.We shouldn’t have had to go through those things alone……
(from 3/18/09 via downelink)
